End of Old Seasons

If there is one influential force in my life that I have more mixed feelings about than anything else, it's change. Some days I love it, others I hate it. What's so bad about change? Nothing, in principle, as new things are awesome. The tough part is letting go of old stuff that one gets so comfortable with...

I have been out of Streams Academy New Hampshire for a little over 2 months now. During that time, I have revisited nearly every core group of people or friends that I've been involved in at some point in time. The first group was the tournament Scrabble players from the West Coast; we had an awesome time at the Vancouver Club's annual tournament. However, as always with tournaments, it's over almost as quick as it starts, and just like that, the people are gone again. Unless you go to the same Scrabble club weekly to play games, the main method of keeping in touch and playing is via ISC (the Internet Scrabble Club, where people like me play online Scrabble games), or via Facebook. While it works to some extent, it is 1) not the same as interacting with them in person and 2) interacting with a computer really isn't the same as interacting with a person period.

I got settled into Kelowna after the tournament (celebrated my 22nd birthday!), and the very next weekend, went back with my older brother Luke to visit the Streams Academy internship in Vancouver. Some of the people in leadership there went to school with me and Luke in Streams Academy New Hampshire's 06-07 class, including his fiancée Jesse (same name as me, I know!). We were going for an engagement party being thrown for Luke and Jesse, and for two other engaged couples in the internship. While some of the people were welcoming, I was stunned at the way I was treated by some of those that I had gone to school with; it was almost like I'd never even been a part of their lives. At one point after something happened, I was so overcome with emotion I walked out of the party, went down the street and cried. It took some time to forgive them, and while I have, God used it to show me that what needed to be accomplished in my life through the 06/07 class was done; that season of my life was through.

In early April, I went to Calgary to help Mom with the landscaping business that we own as a family there. While it's not my favorite thing in the world to do, it is an great source of quick income, so I agreed to go for a few weeks. When I wasn't working, I went to visit my old church, SunWest Christian Fellowship. I got to see the young people I used to hang out with from my young adult group, and while it was fun to catch up, I felt distant. Granted, there are still several individuals from SunWest I keep in contact semi-regularly with, but those are more "we can pick it up right from where we left off" relationships. I'm blessed to have them. However, like with the others, I felt a little distant; they've gotten on with their lives, and I've had yet to get on with mine.

On another of my days off in Calgary (due to a snowstorm a few days before), I went to visit SAIT, where I got my web development diploma in '05. I had the privilege of catching up with several of my former professors, but the theme with everyone else I'd met up with in Calgary remained: distance. I felt welcome, and even like at some point it was home, but no longer.

In late April, I decided sporadically to go on a trip back to the Boston area to play in a high-profile Scrabble tournament being held there. Getting there was comical; I was laid over in SFO overnight due to delays, my baggage was lost for several days, a dog had peed on the floor of a bus that I rode on at the airport in Boston, the list could go on...like at the Vancouver tournament, I had an awesome time with the East Coast Scrabblers. In the tournament, I actually placed fairly high, so I won money. It was pretty cool; like Vancouver though, it was over all too soon. I had a day before flying home, so I decided to surprise my former intern class ('07-'08) and show up for a night to say hello. It turned out all but one of them (Sharon Felder, South Carolina) had gone on a roadtrip to UConn for the weekend. Sharon picked me up from the New London bus stop and promised not to tell anyone I was coming. We got back to the girl's lodging house, and caught up with each other on stories and such. When I heard the vans full of people coming up the driveway, I took my ice cream outside and just casually ate it, waiting for them to notice I was there. You shoulda seen them run out the car at me! I felt very loved and welcomed, the most I had in quite some time. Even in New Hampshire though, I couldn't help but reach the same conclusion I had everywhere else: it had been home, what happened while I had lived there was great, but home it was no longer.

When I got back from Boston, I stayed in Vancouver for a few days. I went to go visit Trevor Lewis (Langley, BC), my old next-door neighbour when I lived in Langley from 1994-1998. I talked with him and his family some, and then went out to the back bush area to see where we used to explore and play as kids. It was completely different; a tree with a swing on it that we once used had since been cut down, and the 'mudslide' hill that we'd toboggan down in the winter had since been infested with weeds and waste materials from building projects. I looked for a sideways-growing tree that we'd built a fort on (the Beaver Lodge, we called it), but it was lost among the random plant growth, weeds and waste materials that now dominate the area. I also briefly looked into the backyard of my old house; very little looked the same. The house siding was still white, the basketball court was still there, otherwise the rest was completely made over. It hardly even felt like I'd lived there. While it was good to catch up with Trevor, the universal feeling of distantness I'd been getting everywhere else also showed up in Langley that night.

The next weekend I drove down from Vancouver to Oregon to play in one last Scrabble tournament. I'd always wanted to do a road trip with a good friend, and there was finally a chance. I have known James Leong (Vancouver, BC) for 8 years from Scrabble, both in person and online. The whole experience turned out to be a little more difficult than the rest, though; me and James actually fought at one point regarding getting directions versus buying a map of Oregon, and my fairy-tale dream world of a "perfect friendship" crashed down. Me and James had fought online before, but as those were typed fights, it didn't have the same effect. Couple that with a bleh result in the tournament, and being sick up until the last day, and things don't seem so "perfect" anymore. Thankfully, getting to hang out once more with West Coast Scrabblers (including some who couldn't make it to Vancouver) was fun again; we even got to play Ultimate Frisbee one evening! Due to a tough last day of losing all 4 of my games, I actually got kinda mad and didn't really want to stick around; I asked James if we could drive back, and so off we went. It took about an hour to let the steam off, and realize that Scrabble, albeit fun at times, has consumed my time, money and even my emotions, and the reality is, there has not been a huge payoff.

While I will likely never stop playing Scrabble competitively, I am beginning to wonder how much of my time will be invested in improving at it. If one wants to be elite, it takes a lot of game playing experience, and a whole lot of studying (words and strategy). I don't want to spend my young adult years doing that, yet at the same time, I get affirmation from performing well in Scrabble, so I'm tugged back and forth. There is so much I want to get really good at, but realistically, the time is not there to do 'everything'. The problem with wanting to get really good at stuff is doing so for the wrong reasons. I know my affirmation should not come from stuff I do, especially in how well I do it. I am still struggling to allow my affirmation to just come from God first.

What's next for me? It's not too terribly clear, unfortunately. Here's what I noticed though: 8 is the number of new beginnings, and it's the year 2008. Almost everything that up to this year has been a dominant part of my life is either losing its appeal or has lost its prominence. After this year, Scrabble will likely fade off to near nothingness in terms of tournament activity. As nostalgic as I get when I watch youth playing league soccer, it seems like a lifetime ago that I ever took part or had the desire to take part again. As hard as that will be to do, I think it will be for the best. I know that music needs to be part of my life more, due to the sheer joy that I get from singing and/or playing the piano. On a random note, near the end of this year I will be going to Guatemala to take Spanish immersion, as I've always wanted to learn to speak the language properly, and what better time than the year of new beginnings?

Ultimately, I am feeling the Lord's peace most when I am in Kelowna, so I know this is where I am supposed to be right now. While uncertain about what's immediately next, I am excited to see where God takes me. At the same time, I'm scared to step out. Did I mention that I have mixed feelings about change?

Weekend in Massachusetts

It's been a long time since we went on an outreach, but we finally did this past weekend. Our schedule was to go to the MetroWest Bridge church in Natick for a youth impartation night, then an evangelism primer at the Olive Branch bookstore, then application of the previous by going to mall to practice, then the Fusion event at the North Shore Bridge church. A loaded weekend for sure!

For new intern Ann Giddings (Port Perry, ON), it was her first time going to Massachusetts. On the drive down I-95, we pointed out the Boston skyline to all the interns who had never been. Obviously nothing like being in Boston for real, but gave them an idea of how looked, at least. Anyways, after several hours of driving (plus the usual bathroom stops for certain interns who need to pee every 5 minutes) we made it to Natick. We had a few minutes before we needed to be at the church, so we stopped by a deli for dinner. Me and Amber Cranfill (Illinois) figured there would be a lineup ahead of us, so we went into a specialty piano shop to kill a few minutes. I got to play on a piano that was selling for $74000! It sounded so nice, but I just couldn't see how it was worth that much.

Most of us were curious as to what the youth impartation night was all about, but we didn't get much clarity on that, even after asking pastor John Thomas. His response, coupled with a mischievous smile, was, "We're just going to do what God wants; we're going to be lead by the Holy Spirit." Definitely a faith building experience! The night ended up being a mix of speaking prophetic words over others, intercessory prayer and fellowship. One of the biggest surprises of the night was seeing Long Islanders Jeannine Adipietro, Christine Konior and her daughter Sarah show up; it was totally unexpected! Turned out they were in town early for the Olive Branch mini-conference. During last year's intern program, they were gracious enough to house us while we visiting Long Island. Since then, their church, the Lighthouse, has become a Streams Bridge church, making them even closer linked to us now. Hopefully that means we get sent New York cheesecake, mmmmm...

The next day saw us going to the Olive Branch bookstore (click here for a previous blog entry explaining what it's all about). I was dismayed to discover that they are going out of business at the end of the month; I have grown to love the store and any time we've gotten to visit. With a 20% discount on everything, I decided to load up on several books and CDs. I have enough reading for several months now!

Former intern Anton Luse is now on staff at the MetroWest Bridge; he does a lot of speaking with John Thomas regarding street evangelism. Both of them spoke at the Olive Branch about street evangelism, including different techniques, general no-nos, and knowing your level of favor with a person. During one of the sessions, I went downstairs to the Ugly Mug cafe to grab a few snacks. There I found fellow staff member Sharon Felder (South Carolina) with the two store owners, and they were getting hit with the Holy Spirit! They one by one fell down under His presence, yet still holding hands the entire time. I couldn't help but chuckle...clearly they didn't care if anyone walked in and saw what they were doing. How I envy that level of confidence!

When it came time to go to the mall, I was paired up with Beth Giobbe, a member of the MetroWest church who I've ministered with before. We went to the nearby Solomon Pond Mall to practice some 'street evangelism'. At first, I really honestly didn't want to evangelize; I've always had trouble with forcibly presenting God to anyone. However, the two of us found a solution. Both of us are comfortable with relational evangelism, which as the name suggests, involves relating to a person before evangelizing. We got to pray for an exasperated cell phone salesman, and an information booth attendent (her brother had cancer). The coolest part (at least for me, anyway) was getting an idea while walking by Abercrombie & Fitch. There were two female store greeters, both about 18, and I thought out loud, "Wouldn't it be cool to interpret a dream for them? I bet no one's ever asked!" Beth agreed it'd be fun, so we went up to them and I asked. They thought it was cool, but couldn't remember any dreams. They asked us to check back with them in 10 minutes once they remembered. When we came back, one girl managed to remember a dream. It was a fairly simple one to interpret (she dreamt that her hair was falling out), but as I've been learning, what might be simple to me is profound to someone else. When she heard that God had given her a great anointing & a lot of gifts, and that the enemy was trying to take it from her, it wowed her.

After the mall outreach, me and the other interns headed off to the North Shore Bridge for Fusion. Basically, the event's premise was to connect closer to the Lord than one would in a regular worship service. Streams recording artist Josh Young lead worship for the event, and was joined by a host of other talented musicians from various Streams churches. Past intern Brandon Crummer (Maui, HI) surprised us when he arrived; having him there, along with other former interns and ex-Streams staff, I felt briefly like I was part of the old internship again. I have had a hard time during this intern year with the massive change from the way the program used to be to the way it is now, and this provided some relief from those feelings.

We spent Sunday morning at the North Shore Bridge, where John Paul Jackson was guest speaking. He spoke on the different spiritual 'ranks' of churches, and in it, he gave a prophetic word about the church being an Apostolic Resource Centre, which happened to be the highest spiritual 'rank' of church. He spoke of the early church in Acts, and how they were stuck in Jerusalem for so long, until God intervened and scattered them all throughout the known world. It was exciting to hear about what God has waiting in the wings for their congregation.

After the service, various interns were assigned to teams to give prophetic words, and me, program director Ali Johnson (New Brittain, CT) and Dustin Zupancic (Abbotsford, BC) were formed together to be a dream team. The consistent theme for us was very abstract dreams. One woman in particular shared this dream with us:

"I was with my son at a service in a church I didn't recognize, but knew was our church. He told me that there were 4 people we had to kill. He pointed at one and said to start with him. I was very uneasy about it, but because of the confidence in his voice, I agreed. The two of us sat on either side of the man he had pointed out, and both of us, with a knife each, stabbed him through his sides. We dragged the body down the aisle and into a bathroom. I was standing guard at the door, watching for anyone coming, while he disposed of the body in the bathroom. I was worried when I saw the blood on the floor, scared that someone might notice. Suddenly, a man dressed in desert army fatigues walked by, asking if everything was ok. I said yes, so he walked on. After that, my son came out of the bathroom with a big wad of money, and he was really excited. I knew that he hadn't stolen the money from the man, but that it had somehow appeared after disposal of the body was complete. He ran into the pastor's office excitedly, slapping the money down on the table and all smiles. Suddenly, the church elders came in and said, 'That's the one who did it!' and grabbed him. Still smiling, my son was being tied up. The elders commented, 'We'll take him back to the United States where he can get some help.' Until that point, I had no idea we were somewhere other than the United States."

I had a few ideas almost right away, but not a complete meaning. Ali stepped out by interpreting some of the first part, and then I added, and Dustin added. We kept playing off each other until the full interpretation came together. Basically, she had a dream where the Lord was showing her that He wants to bring about a new creative expression in his church, and that the old mindsets and preconceived ideas of the church needed to be 'put to death'. During that purging of the old, it will be uncomfortable for her, but she will know that it is right, and that some of the church in general will be upset with change, even to the point of her facing persecution/judgment; they are more comfortable with traditional Western thinking, as is evidenced with the comment 'We'll take him back to the United States...' She was blown away by the dream and received a lot of peace from getting the interpretation for it.

That marked the last weekend outreach that I will be on with Streams, as I fly home to British Columbia on the 27th. Only a week left in my time here...it is going by so quickly!

Tom Brady, Tom Petty, Tomfoolery...

Tom Brady on screen as interns watch

Hey, no one said we had to be all holy and spiritual all the time! Today, we were all invited to the house of our pastor at the New London Bridge (Scott Evelyn) to watch the Super Bowl and just hang out in general. I'm not a huge football fan, but I've gotten to like watching sports more, and at the very least, there's great commercials to be seen. Boy, were we in for a treat! Normally, we don't get to see the Super Bowl commercials in Canada, since the coverage is syndicated. Canadian networks put on their own commercials, and usually they're not so great. The baby that had a man's voice talking about buying stocks and stuff constituted two of the best commercials this year. Bud Light had some great ones, as was to be expected. Coke's weren't too bad either...

The game itself, however, was not too exciting until the last quarter. It sure picked up then! Listening to Matt Mummert (San Diego, CA) cheering in an anyone but New England fashion was rather amusing; it reminded me some of my little brother Caleb. Lucy Nelson (Belmont, MA) is clearly the most vocal of the girls in the internship, but especially when it comes to sports. She loves her Patriots! Unfortunately for her and the other Pats fans in the house, that was not meant to be, as New York played very well at the end, in combination with the Pats playing not so well, to take the Super Bowl.

I enjoyed being with everyone in a not as religious setting for a while. How Sharon Felder (South Carolina) and some of the others could leave with 10 minutes to go in the game is beyond me, but hey, if it don't float your boat, I guess it makes sense. Oh, and note to Tom Petty: in the future, avoid having a moving light replica of an electric guitar that looks suspiciously like noodly appendage...

New Beginnings

'08, the year of new beginnings, is upon us! I rang it in playing Scrabble at a tournament in Albany, NY. Rather random, but hey, that's me in a nutshell, so it fits.

Several days later, I found myself back in New London, NH, back with Streams Academy. This time, though, it is somewhat different; I am no longer an intern. I finished the entire student year in December, so I made my return as one of the leaders here. Adjusting to that difference is going to take a while...

This past weekend a group of us went down to Concord, NH to go ice skating at an indoor arena. It turned out to be a lot of fun; while we were there, I recalled days gone by having lived in Calgary when we lived on a lake. Matt Stewart (Sutton, NH) and new intern Rachel Mosley (Reno, NV) were among several who received skating lessons, as they'd either never skated before or hadn't in a very long time. My brother Luke taught different people how to do a stop, but with only moderate success. Lucy Nelson (Belmont, MA) and Elisa Zupancic (Abbotsford, BC) actually got the hang of it, but not without entertaining us all with some literal 'slip-ups'.

One of the things we get to look forward to is air-time on a radio program at the local college, Colby-Sawyer. We have been asked to interpret dreams live on the air, which absolutely excites us. Once the interns have finished taking the 201 at the end of the month, we will start the program. Even pastor Scott Evelyn will be on it!